Akatsuki family vacation!
by Inpar
Summary: Akatsuki is going on vacation! Yes evil organisations can do that Prepare to see your favorite badies like never before; on a camping trip they soon will be forgetting. Will they survive car trouble, outdoors activities, strange creatures, ghost stories, the weather and setting up a camp? or should I say: Will they survive eachother? Rated T for language.


**Oh well, I know it's not a very original idea but I wanted to write something about Akatsuki so badly. :3**

**This is just meant to be funny, do not take it too seriously. ;D**

Akatsuki has decided...sorry, PEIN has decided that it would be good for the team spirit if all of Akatsuki goes camping in the forest together. However, the others are not as excited as he is. And it's shown even before they get into the car...

"I don't want to go to the fucking woods!" Hidan whines while watching Kakuzu, Pein and Zetzu preparing the car.

"Shut up, Hidan! It's bad enough without your idiotic grumbling!" Kakuzu mutters irritated at the white haired man.

Hidan crosses his arms and starts to pout.

Itachi comes out of the hideout with a fleabag and a backpack. When he reaches the car he hands the stuff over to Zetzu who carefully places them amongst the others.

"Itachi! By Jashin, talk sense into them!" Hidan pleads the black haired man.

Itachi answers by snorting and say

"It's already decided, just accept it."

Hidan pouts some more. Kisame happily runs up to them and hands over his luggage to Kakuzu. He looks really excited.

"This is gonna be so much fun! Right guys?" The blue shark-man smiles, showing all of his big sharp teeth.

The other two don't think so and makes no effort to hide it.

"Hm..." Itachi mutters.

"Yeah-fuck-whatever." Yawns Hidan.

Kisame goes on as excited as ever.

"We'll paddle canoe and hike and swim and play ball games and sing campfire songs and tell ghost stories and-" He get's cut off by Hidan.

"Fuckig-praise-Jashin-for-fucks-sake-there's-Sasori-and-Deidara-hey-guys!" Hidan points over yonder to turn Kisame's attention away from him.

Sasori, who's inside of his Hiruko puppet, and Deidara also gives their luggage to the ones packing the car, gazing Hidan odd looks while doing so.

"No Sasori, you can't bring Hiruko. He's too big!" Pein states when he sees the big wooden puppet.

"I'm not coming if I can't stay inside this!" Sasori growls with his 'Hiruko-voice'.

"I told him it wouldn't fit in the car but he never listens to me, hm." Deidara shrugs at his partner's stubbornness.

"Get out of there, Sasori!" Pein commands, pointing at Hiruko. The puppet just shakes his head.

"NOW SASORI!" Pein's face becomes red of anger for not being obeyed.

"No!" Sasori answers from inside of the puppet. Pein grinds his teeth and waves his arms.

"Then I'll get you out of there by force!" He howls and starts chasing the puppet, which looks like a small racing cart when it goes. He chases him for quite a while. Everybody stops what they're doing to watch him trying to catch Hiruko, waving his arms and cursing. Deidara leans closer to Itachi and asks in a hushed voice

"He could just use some kind of jutsu to get him, you know..."

Itachi shakes his head and replies

"Yeah, but lets not tell him that to see how long before he figures it out for himself."

After 30 minutes of watching their leader trying to catch up with Sasori Kakuzu gets enough.

"Time is money so let's not waste any more of it, okay?"

He face palms, jumps over to where Pein and Sasori are for the moment. He lands next to the Hiruko puppet making it fall to it's back, leaving it unable to get any further. Pein runs up to them and tries to catch his breath.

"Why..did you do that?...I almost had him!"

"Mhm..." Kakuzu hardens his hand and smashes the Hiruko puppet into peaces.

"...Okay then." Sasori realizes there's no use struggling when he lies on his back facing the grumpy masked man.

Kakuzu grabs Sasori by the collar of his cloak and picks up the much shorter redhead, leading him back to the car.

"Okay then, let's get Konan and Tobi and we're off." The leader clears his throat.

"Tobi and I have been here for at least 20 minutes, waiting for **you, **Pein." Konan is standing next to him with crossed arms.

"Oh...Let's take our seats then." Pein jumps in and takes the driver seat. Konan rolls her eyes and sit down on the passenger seat.

"Danna, I wanna sit next to you!" Deidara says when Sasori gets into the car.

"Whatever brat." Sasori groans. Deidara grins when he gets what he want.

**[Later...]**

"Is this the right way Pein? Do you know where we're going?" Konan asks the irritated driver.

"Yes Konan, I know where we're going!" He answers impatiently.

The blue haired woman glares at him in disbelief.

"Why don't you ask someone down the road for directions?" She asks after a while.

"God damn it woman! Let me drive!"

Tobi pops his head out between their seats and pleads

"Tobi has to pee!"

Both Pein and Konan face palms in discus.

"What? Now? You could have peed before we left." Konan sighs.

"I didn't have to go then but I have to go now!" Toby jumps up and down with frustration.

"Then you'll have to wait..." Mutters an irritated Pein.

Tobi whimpers and returns to his seat.

"Hidan, don't kick my back!" Sasori tells the man behind him.

"My legs are too long, I've got no space to move! You're short, you can move your seat forward and help a bro!" Hidan replies.

"I'm not short, you moron!" Sasori hisses.

"You still have lots of space left so fucking move your seat!" Hidan refers to all the free space between Sasori's feet and the front seat.

"I'm sorry, did the fanatic say something?" Sasori smirks.

"Ah, your son of a bitch!" Hidan groans and begins to kick the seat even more.

"Oi! What's your problem, hm?" Deidara snaps at the two fighting members next to him.

"The fucking puppet won't give me more space!" Whines Hidan.

Kakuzu is sleeping through their fight and Zetzu is reading a book about botanic. Further back sits Kisame and Itachi.

"Hey, Itachi! I spy with my little ninja eye something green!" Kisame pokes his mate playfully.

Itachi sighs.

"Is it trees?" He asks in a monotone voice.

"YES! You're right again! I spy with my little ninja eye something...tall." The shark man smiles big. Itachi sighs once again and answers.

"Is it more trees?" with the same monotone voice again.

"You're right Itachi!" Kisame looks amazed and Itachi gives out a sarcastic

"Yippie!" not sounding the least happy.

Kisame gives him a suspicious look and asks

"Are you cheating, Itachi?"

"No, I'm not." Itachi answers cold. Kisame is silent for about five seconds before...

"Itaaaachiiii! I spy with my little ninja eye~"

Itachi hits his head repeatedly against the window.

Konan keeps nagging at Pein.

"Left! I said left! Pein, now you missed it! Look at the road, not me!"

"I still have to pee!" Tobi yelps.

"Hidan, I thought I told you to stop!"

Hidan flips his finger to Sasori.

"Danna, just give him more space and he'll stop, hm."

Sasori, who normally is very mature, now crosses his arms like a spoiled child, refusing.

"Never! He insulted me!"

"Listen to your girlfriend now, Pinocchio!" Hidan barks and kicks the seat some more.

"What was that, hm?" Deidara turns to the Jashinist with a mad expression on his face.

"Zzzz..." Kakuzu is still asleep.

"Itaaachiii~!"

*Bonk* *Bonk* *Bonk*

"EVERYBODY SHUTS THE FUCK UP NOW!"

Everybody looks at Pein in silence.

"Konan, I'm the driver so your going to zip it from now on, okay! Sasori, give Hidan more god damned space! Hidan, quit being a jerk! Deidara, mind your own business! Kisame, don't be so irritating! Itachi, don't break the window and try to be happy for **ONCE**! And Tobi, I'll park here so you can pee!"

Tobi is fiddling with his fingers obnoxiously.

"What is it? Don't you have to pee?" Pein asks.

Toby answers quietly

"...Not anymore..."

**Holy mother of God. . . *Takes off sunglasses* **

**This is my first Naruto fanfic so don't kill me. ;) **

**Please leave a comment! I would appreciate it! :D **


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